Looked at from the perspective of the bookseller, Christmas can often be the opposite of a joyous experience. Elias Greig, a former bookseller, writes in an article in The Guardian that Christmas “is the time of year when the sanctuary of the bookstore transforms into a battlefield.” We’ve all been there, at least on the customer side of the counter – other customers frenziedly jostling for books as though the store was going to run out any minute, whining kids, phones ringing, “Silent Night” blaring to deaf ears on the taped music, and so on. 

Those on the other side of the counter however face the nightmare from a whole different perspective, as Greig points out in some recollections from his time in a store. To help bring the situation closer to the Christmas ideal of peace on earth, he suggests six things we can do. Ranging from “know what you’re after” to simply being kind, they’re ideas worth adopting, not just at the bookstore, but anywhere you shop this Christmas.

A humorous take on a not-so-funny-if-you’re-there way is provided by Katie Hall in a post on Student Hut.  This applies to working in retail anywhere at Christmas, but possibly more so if it’s a bookstore, where the customer confronts shelves and tables chockers with books on every subject imaginable and even if they had a vague idea in mind is instantly thrown into a state of dithering indecision (that’s me at least). And the relentless punishment of the soundtrack also gets a mention, this time in relation to “that same weird, jazzy cover of ‘Last Christmas'”. Actually I quite like ‘Last Christmas’ in its original version, but the glow definitely wears off after the first fifty or so listens. If it doesn’t drive you, like Katie Hall, to want to gouge your eyes out, have a listen below. 

Here are two books by Jen Campbell that might be heartening for bookstore staff and their customers when “Bah Humbug” threatens to overwhelm. 

Goodreads describes it as follows: “A John Cleese Twitter question (“What is your pet peeve?”), first sparked the “Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops” blog, which grew over three years into one bookseller’s collection of ridiculous conversations on the shop floor.

From “Did Beatrix Potter ever write a book about dinosaurs?” to the hunt for a paperback which could forecast the next year’s weather; and from “I’ve forgotten my glasses, please read me the first chapter” to “Excuse me… is this book edible?”, here is a book for heroic booksellers and booklovers everywhere.

This full-length collection illustrated by the Brothers McLeod also includes top “Weird Things” from bookshops around the world.”

From Goodreads: ‘”Customer (holding up a book): “What’s this? The Secret Garden? Well, it’s not so secret now, is it, since they bloody well wrote a book about it!'”

From “Did Harry Potter kill Hitler?” to “Can we play cricket in your bookshop?”, a selection of the most ridiculous conversations from the shop floor. Bewildering, hilarious and slightly alarming, this is a book for dedicated booksellers and booklovers everywhere.

Illustrated by the Brothers McLeod, this collection includes queries and incidents from bookshops (and libraries) around the world, and even a section of Weird Things Customers Say at ‘Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops Book Signings.'”

Having not read either, I can’t review them, but they sound tempting and the perfect gift for booksellers everywhere.